Help me resolve a debate please?

as long as you are teaching her responsibility as well. It sounds like you are so there should be no problems. does she earn these treats ; like completing her chores etc; if so then you are doing everything right; I insisted my boys took ten percent of what they received [ cash wise] and banked it . If they got $100 , they banked $10.00 of it . That also taught them about saving for the things they want. It doesn't hurt to occasionally say no either. As we mature we then get to learn we won't always get our way and some things have to be earned and worked towards. It is alright to give when you can ; but it is better to reap the reward, once earned . I believe that is where your mother is coming from. good luck ; hope this helps.