Could you please read the first few paragraphs of my story...?

Your character seems to be very fiery and that's a pretty good character trait. But, if she like this all the time, it may bore the reader. Everything seems so high-strung it makes everything pop but nothing seems to stands out. Besides her being conceited, what other flaws does she have? Where is the foreshadowing ('hints' about what may happen next)? Your writing is really good, but readers need something to cling to besides 'that she popular and randoms don't matter'. So a definite dramatic or seemingly inescapable problem should arise to make the reader want to read more. I hope I helped :).